Hardy House Plant

My daughter knows that every time I've gotten a house plant, somehow I've managed to 'kill' the poor house plant — either by neglect, or lack of water, or who knows what. I just don't have that key green-thumb nature touch personality, I guess.

About the only thing I haven't 'killed' that has grown up in my home are my six children, all of whom are adults now, married and living a family life of their own.

So...one fine summer season, one of my daughters purchased a new house plant for me, and casually said to me, "Now Mom, don't worry, you can't kill this one. The florist at the store guaranteed it by claiming that this one is a very hardy house plant."

"Well OK, I'll try it," I said, knowing full well where this house plant was going to end up at — a month or so from now, neglected from green-thumb care to keep it alive.

Several weeks later the hardy house plant — a twisty vine odd thing — was still green and growing slowly, with a host of tiny blooms still in full color on the house plant.

A month later I glanced at the house plant again, and yep, it was still green and growing slowly, with a host of tiny colorful blooms still on it.

"Hmm...I thought to myself." That's odd, the blooms sure are lasting a long time.

I have poor vision eyesight, and don't always wear my eyeglasses, but this time I leaned in much closer for an inspection of the hardy house plant and its colorful blooms — stuffing my nose up quite close to the plant.

To my surprise, and with a light chuckle, knowing the quirky sense of humor my daughter partakes in regularly, I realized that the blooms weren't real...they were made of SILK...the blooms were forever blooms.

My daughter was right about this hardy house plant...it's still alive and doing well, silk blooms and all.

Beloved Jest

One evening a beloved husband and wife were having a jest filled moment with each other.

And Leslie said to her husband, "I went to school in a large city, and there were 225 classmates in our grade, and at our high school graduation ceremony I graduated within 'Top-Ten' out of all my other classmates."

She said this with a smile of certainty, quite proudly pleased with the dedicated sign of achievement, and her husband smiled approvingly at his wife's impressive achievement too.

Yet he replied with less dramatic certainty.

"Well...the town where I grew up was very small (it was barely big enough to have a small mom and pop quick-mart grocery store and a few other minor store front buildings) and we didn't have very many classmates in my grade, but at the high school ceremony, I graduated within the 'Top-Eight' out of eight total classmates."

Firkin of Gherkin

"Useful Hints To Grocers" is a chapter within a book called "Everybody's Guide: Of Things Worth Knowing" by R. Moore, originally printed in 1884 in New York. 

In that chapter is a recipe for Gherkins:

"Take small cucumbers (not young) steep for a week in very strong brine; it is then poured off, heated to the boiling point and again pour on the fruit. The next day the gherkins are strained on a sieve, wiped dry, put into bottles or jars, with some spice, ginger, pepper, or cayenne, and at once covered with strong pickling vinegar."

In that book... "We are also told how to make butter and place it in a tub or firkin. It occurred to me that if one stores his pickles in a butter tub, he would have a firkin of gherkins!"

Quote from "The Two-Story Outhouse" by Norm Weis

War Veterans

I was the crew member of a helicopter team during the Vietnam War, and on one risky mission we flew in to get another ground force team who were in a dangerous situation and in need of quick assistance. When the helicopter landed I muscled speedily to assist in getting eleven out of twelve team members into our helicopter and we flew all of them to safety at the nearest Army base. To this day these eleven Veteran's help each other whenever one friend is in need.

I had recently crashed my six-cylinder small Ford pickup truck into an oak tree (yep the oak  tree is still solidly standing tall unscathed, while my pickup truck was totaled). Within a week the other 11 persons of that rescue situation in the Vietnam War had pooled enough funds to acquire another pickup truck for me, and had it delivered 7 days later all the way across the USA to my apartment parking spot.

That's what a team of life long friends is for....commitment. Families and friends are life long commitments well worth the journey.

My Neighbor's Cat

 I do luv cats.

Some years ago the last of my extensive cat family had departed for cat heaven (I had seven cats), all having lived long adventurous cat-happy lives here on our homestead acreage. Lately I had considered acquiring another new cat for personal company, as well as to help keep the residence rodent population at bay.

As luck would have it my neighbor's cat showed up at my back door on very wet rainy Fall season day searching for something. It's health was a bit dire, for its eyes were weeping from an eye infection and in need of some luv and care, so I let the cat into my house, gave it some medicine (that I still had saved in a side cupboard from my previous cat family), then placed it in my smaller bathroom, hoping to provide it a comfortable place to sleep in a warm environment. It seemed to accept the small bathroom idea quite well, so I carefully closed the door to keep it in there so that I could easily locate the cat again later that day. 

Shortly later I called my neighbor and mentioned to him that his cat had roamed over to my residence and was now in my bathroom resting.

Later that day he drove his pickup over to my residence, whereupon I escorted him to the bathroom and opened the door slowly. We both peered inside, but did not see the cat. It had seemingly disappeared. We both looked around inside the small bathroom but could not find the cat. Earlier I had left the window ajar slightly to let fresh air in, and we thought that perhaps the cat had gone back outside for the evening by exiting out the open window. So my neighbor departed homeward bound...cat-less.

Shortly later I returned to the bathroom for another closer inspection, and with a bit of diligent effort I discovered the missing cat. Mrs. Cat had slipped into the deep wooden clothes hamper basket (that was partially filled with dirty clothes) and it was comfortably sleeping there still, quite peaceably, amongst a pile of dirty clothing.

Next day I again called my next door neighbor, but by this time he had given up on the cat, and decided it was best to just leave the cat at its new found residence...at my homestead, and I've had this pretty cat ever since.

Doggone It Chevy

At one of our favorite local county parks there is a long lakeside paved walkway where the everyone enjoys taking a long shoreside stroll along the lake. Many families come to that lakeshore park and gather around a picnic table, while the kids go play in the refreshing lake waters. 

Of course the county park does have its usual set of rules: don't swim around the boat dock; no sunbathing on the boat dock; all dogs must be on a leash, no fireworks, etc., all of which a fair portion of the tourists who visit the county park tend to ignore the "strange rules".

While relaxing there by the lakeshore with my family on repeated occasion, we have quickly learned the name of at least one dog in particular. There is one particular owner who walks his two dogs (one is the adventurer and the other dog is the obedient one) from one end of the shoreline walkway to the far other end of the shoreline walkway.

The docile obedient dog's name is Cammy (aka CamCam), while the adventurous dog's name is Chevy. Yep, you guessed right...this guy obviously likes certain kinds of automotive vehicles.

During the long daily walk he calls commands primarily to one dog -- the adventurous one -- Chevy the adventurer.

The commands spoken to his adventurous one dog asking it to heel are quite repetitious as he tells that dog for the 'ump-teenth thousandth time to heel, or to stay close to master, or to not wander very far. BUT...like a large portion of the dog walkers at the county park, the man never puts a leash on either dog during the entire time he takes both dogs out there for a long walk along the shoreline park trail.

So, for the thousandth time it's....

"Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy. Chevy."

Believe me...everyone who has visited that county park knows that adventurous dog's name by now! 

Ya know come to think of it...that might be a viable fitting name for our next pup....

Delivered Dressed Hogs

 "At hog-butchering time one winter Norman sold a couple of dressed hogs to the silver mine located up in the foothills, and he hired me to deliver them on sleighs with a team of horses. When I arrived at the small mining community I drove up to a window at the meat house where the boardinghouse flunky told me just to shove them through the window headfirst. The hogs weighted five hundred pounds apiece, and were frozen stiff. When the first one landed it went right on through the floor, and there it lay with its hind legs sticking straight up in the air. When the other hog slid through the window the man inside, being much more attentive now, carefully eased it down to the floor. I quickly sat down on the wagon buckboard seat, grabbed the reigns of my horse team and coaxed the horses into motion heading back down the trail toward town, for I didn't wait to see how the man got the first hog out of the hole in the floor of the boardinghouse."

Quote from Pan Bread 'n Jerky by Walter L. Scott

Goat Theory

This article is actually just a side tangent extension of our previous "dandelion theory" (which has several ongoing parts [1, 2, 3]), which by the way is working out quite well this summer, so far. For we just let them brilliant colored fast growing pesky little yellow things grow to their hearts content, and whenever we get around to it...oh, in 3 to 4 weeks time, then we mow 'em down.

But we have noticed that there is one little minor hole in our newfound noble theory. The wild grasses and all the various accompanied weeds quickly reach ginormous proportion...12-15-inches tall (and taller!) in our front lawn. One section (that rarely gets mowed) had completely gotten away from, and put on a mega spurt of growth, reaching over two feet tall...man that was a bear mowing that section.

All this madness of endless lawn mowing care has a source of course...it's all caused by the endless drenching down pouring drizzling rainy damp cloudy near constantly dumps for six month straight in this broad valley west of the great Cascadia mountains, for all of those rain showers get dumped right here on this side of Cascadia resulting in an astounding degrees of luxuriant green growth (don't get me started on the bugs).

For I perceive that my general theory of inter-relativity to dandelions needs a little adjusting, for if we let the dandelions do their thing for 3+ weeks -- then the weeds and grasses all quickly joined in on the fun party, and sooner or later it all got way out of control).

So we've opted for a slight change in our great and mystical new grand dandelion theory. We'll still go right ahead and let those pesky bright yellow colored dandelions do their own special thing (as they always have) by ultra growing fast in our front yard lawn, and we'll mow it just before it gets TOO tall...virtually exactly as planned.

But we've changed our tactics for the backyard lawn (for that is the fenced in part). Our new choice of action?

We have bought a goat...yep, a billy goat (later we'll try the nanny goat theory). Initially we had thought of a female goat and knew just how useful and beneficial all of that free delicious tasting goat milk, goat yogurt, goat cheese would be. Yet it also seemed like it was gonna be more work than our general dandelion theory could bear dealing with at the moment. And that's where mister billy goat came in.

Our new four-footed hairy (and friendly) goat is presently on a very long leash in the backyard roaming in great big circles nibbling down to a short stub all of the excess weeds and grasses and dandelions. At the success rate that he is working on that project, our backyard lawn may never need mowing again.

As an interesting side thought...

Our new "goat theory" might even be a useful venture for all those lawn mowing addicts in the forlorn state of California who can now only use "electric" lawn mowers (for apparently gas lawn mowers are banned from future sales).

Instead of you always using a very very ------------- very long extension cord for that electric mower just to trim the furthest most reaches of your big backyard...why not consider our quantized "goat theory"?

Use the short electric cord on your electric lawn mower for the front lawn only. Then, purchase a friendly goat and use that likable hairy four-footed creature for your large backyard! Problem solved...no more work for you, because the nibbling creature takes care of it all for ya.

And if you bought a female goat, you could market the excess goat milk, goat cheese, goat yogurt, and make some $$ on the side.

We can just see it now...quite out of the blue...one day without muchado...something fell from the sky...all of the citizens in that economically struggling state of California abruptly discarded their much disliked electric mowers and every single home property owner (is that about 14 million?) will now have their own four-footed hairy automatic lawn mower takin' care of business.

Picture that...a state utterly void of electric lawn mowers -- instead it's plug full of likable hairy four-footed goats "takin' care of business every day, takin' care of business every way."

...that's just a little BTO ditty tune to help spur ya along.

And there'd be a well saturated retail market out there too...where every store shelf would be super stocked with endless supplies of ultra cheap, excellent quality, very healthy, goat milk, goat cheese, and goat yogurt.

And we noticed that one neighbor who lives not too far away from here has already beat us to this concept of "goat theory", and they've fenced in several goats around their property (so the critters can take care of the natural lawn care business).

Sometimes I feel like a genius, 
Sometimes I don't, 
Almond Joy's got nuts, 
Mounds don't....

Dandelions - part 3

Dangeebefiddle!

Now that we've had a month plus to experiment with the new protocol method of taking care of those pesky little fast-growing yellow flowers in our front lawn...we must say that it's a viable new method that you really should try.

We plan to continue this new method all summer long for the entire remainder of the year. As far as we see it, the new method that involves considerably less lawn mowing, which also simply means much more freedom to go out bouldering (and/or rock climbing).

Of course, it took a bit of guy-type persuasion to convince my lovely esposa that this new method is for the betterment of humanity, and it's much more than that too....

The blue jay birds that hang around our real estate castle are just lovin' all the free increase in tiny wild bugs zipping around on the front lawn (unaffected by the chemicals). It means more food for the birds, and that's an obvious plus.

No weed killer chemicals for us this year. Done tried that crazy method last year. We had tossed down so much chemi-killer last year, even our neighbors had to walk around wearing nose plugs.

Yep...less lawn mowing, no chemi-scent, more bugs, lots of more dandelions, more happy birds eating all those bugs, and more free time to go bouldering...thumbs up method as far as I can see it.

Our next analysis is to consider whether it might be worth the effort to start harvesting all those bright yellow dandelions in our front lawn....rumor is it can be used for tea or salad or something like that....

But in this sopping sopp-steroni babble-oni drizzling damp dreary endless repetitious cycle of Fall-Winter-Spring seasonal showery western Cascadia zone everyone knows that...

"April showers, brings out all of those cute little May dandelion flowers."