Six legs

 After departing in the early morning from my colony in search of munchie forest snacks, somehow I managed to end up in a strange strange world that is flat, smooth, black and hot. It's an odd world. Where's the apple tree snacks, or the cherry tree snacks, I said to myself. I need to find some munchies here somewhere for my colony friends.

Somewhere on the far distant horizon in the flashing speed of a bolt of lightning — a hand rises up and rapidly arrives overhead covering miles of sky above me.

Smack! Ouch, my arm, ouch, ouch, ouch. I dance and jiggle rapidly in a circle, then jiggle and run to the left.

Again, on the far distant horizon in a flashing speed of a bolt of lightning — a hand rises up and rapidly approaches, arriving overhead covering miles of sky above me.

Smack! And then my world goes totally dark.

By now you probably figured it out . . . that we're talking about a big black ant crawling across the dash of our vehicle. An ant that managed to cling to our daypack or crashpad, then end up in our vehicle for a ride . . . then sometime during the long homeward bound drive it crawls up onto the dark dashboard of the vehicle.

All of this and more after a fine quality summers day of bouldering with friends at (black ant haven) Boulder Mtn Boulders southeast of Govie Camp, Orrrrregon.

Climbing moments in NZ and AU

 Payne's Ford, New Zealand

The climber's campground there has a sign similar to Forest Service signs, the fire danger ones with the arrow pointing to the fire danger level. The difference is that this sign has, "Low Gravity, Medium Gravity and High Gravity."

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Payne's Ford, New Zealand

I arrive early, park the rental car and decide to hike to the cliffs and check them out. There's nobody else around as I hike alongside the small river and finally get to some of the limestone. A while later I hike back alongside the water . . . and a young, very naked woman pops up out of the water alongside me. Resolutely keeping eye-contact I say:

"Oh Hi, that water must be cold."

And I continue on back to the campground.

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Arapiles, Australia

I arrive at the campsite and as I'm putting up my tent a young woman asks me if I want to climb. Of course! We climb for a couple of days, then I have to go into town for food. I get back late with supplies, and as I'm putting them into the tent another young woman asks me if I want to climb. I'm promised away for tomorrow, but we arrange to meet the day after. We climb together for the next three weeks. Obviously Arapiles is climbing heaven!

Moments to laugh about

 While climbing at Broughton Bluff one day with a friend . . . 
Gary R. says to me after attempting a new route that he was projecting:
"I would have on-sighted that if I hadn't fallen off!"

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We were at the crag climbing our favorite power routes, and during a brief rest session, we stopped to watch two guys climbing another route nearby.

The lead climber says down to his partner, "gonna fall, take", and the belayer is so fast on the yank that he enthusiastically and quite literally rips the lead climber right from the wall.

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On a boulder somewhere in Oregon:

My friend Tymun (who is shirtless that hot July summer day) pulls onto the vertical rock face from a sit-start with every single tendon of his back muscles flexing. I turn to everyone and say:

"There folks, you have the ultimate definition of definition."

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Yosemite Valley bummer moment:

I had turned down an opportunity to assist Ron Kauk when he asks if I can belay him on a project up in Tuolomne . . . because I'd promised my wife we would go hiking that day.

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Smith Rock, Oregon

Several pitches into a rock climb route I'm "resting" at an undercling plate and looking up at the crux just ahead. It's going to need a much larger cam than any on my sling. This contemplation is cut short when the plate suddenly ceases contact with the wall and I'm arcing backwards on a 20 foot fall. The fall takes enough time that I can throw the hold off to the side - away from my belayer. I decide that was enough for the day, and we bail.

Climbing At The Feathers

 While At The Feathers (Vantage WA)

Two guys, on the climb to the right, take their brand new rope out of it's plastic bag and throw it down onto a tarp. One of them grabs an end and ties in. I turn to Jennifer and say:

"Remember I told you what to do with a new rope? And you asked me if that was necessary? Well just watch this and you'll see why.  I'm guessing the 3rd bolt."

Sure enough by the time the climber had reached the 3rd bolt the rope was a tangled mess.

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Another moment at the Feathers:

We're rock climbing all the routes one by one from right to left and I'm 2 bolts into one of them when a young woman looks over to me and asks:

"What climb are you on?"

Having no idea, I quietly look at her, glance briefly to my right, then briefly to my left and say:

"This one?"